I Know
by Siamese712
Summary: One Quick One shot became two. Loosely connected by theme and tone. "I really hate you sometimes" She turned her head looking down from him. He exhaled drawing the fresh smoke of a half spent cigarette out of his lungs. Blowing it away from her. He reached out his hand to her chin and stroked her cheek. A token far to gentle to come from a man of his caliber. "Yeah, I know."
1. I Know

"I really hate you sometimes"

She turned her head looking down from him. Glaring in her way as the pin prick feeling of unyielded tears blurred the outer reaches of her vision. He exhaled, drawing the fresh smoke of a half spent cigarette out of his lungs, and blew it away. Away from her. The already small gap between them was closed. Him putting his hand on her chin and allowing his thumb to stroke her cheek. A token far to gentle to be fairly coming from a man of his caliber.

"Yeah," She felt the breath of his word on her face. The words coming out distant, bored sounding. Like he didn't care one way or the other, "I know."

With his mouth covering hers she closed her eyes; the tears escaping down her cheek to meet where his hand was still stationed. One of her hands reaching up to grip his shirt collar. She hated this. She hated the way he smelled of the bar whose wooden wall she was pressed against. She hated how he tasted of the cigarette in his other hand. She hated only meeting him in the middle of the night so no annoying sisters could tell her not to. She hated the all too current, all too intimate, position they where in being all too familiar.

What was worse was, she hated wanting it. She hated needing it. Wanting him, needing him. He was a man who it would never work with. There was no happy ending in his arms.

He pulled away, tilting his head down just so. Allowing eyes to meet eyes, Pale green to meet deep vivid green, over the rim of his sunglasses. "I'm not that guy anymore."

"Yeah,"She looked at him, then down again. She removed him from her person, and, putting her hands in the front pocket of her shirt while she headed for the highway road, she replied over her shoulder in the same distant, bored, tone, "I know."

He watched her as she walked away from him. She stopped for a second to put the hood of the sleeveless tee up. He looked up at the cloudy night sky and held his hand out. Out from under the small bit of protective overhanging roof and dim glow of the outside light that hung above him. Rain.

"How stupidly Poetic." He mumbled wiping the bit of droplets from his hand. The rain was needed. It had been a rather dry summer so far and the rain would also be a welcomed reprieve from the over bearing heat. Didn't stop it's dramatic time to bare weight on him however.

He looked back to her. She was standing on the edge of the dirt path where it met the concrete asphalt of the highway now steaming a little from the falling rain. It would lead her back to the heart of the city. Away from this place where the end of suburbia kissed the forest. The rain pushed up small amounts of dust and the aroma of mud and wet outdoors. She really wasn't the type to be hanging around a bar so far from the main city lights. Yet there she was for him to see.

She turned her head back to look at him once more. Her big green eyes, peering out from the shelter of the hooded garment, holding him as he stood. She'd leave in a moment.

Part of him wanted her to leave. Leave and never come back. To stay away from him for good. To never be tempted by those green eyes again and maybe then, just maybe, he would have the strength to leave her alone in turn. But another part him ached in the mere moment of thought.

He didn't know what to call what they had. He doubted it had any traditional social title. He only knew it wouldn't work out in the end. She knew too, and he knew that. There was no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. Just the summers heat to welcome their eventual despair. There where too many strikes against them. Too many strikes against him. Their age had always been a detrimental factor. Eleven years was nothing to sneeze at. True she was an adult now. She could do what, who, she wanted. No one could truly stop her anymore, and their was no legal grounds he could get in trouble on. But she was nineteen. Society still existed, they existed in society, and Society had a strong will and mind and still put restrictions on them both. More so then legality. There would be implications. To many that where more likely to ruin his fragile stability more then hers. After all he was who he was and she was who she was. No one would approve. Not her sisters, not the men he called brothers.

Why do it then? Playing a game they both knew they'd loose.

Because he was a coward. His own answer to his own question. In the end he'd always been one. He'd never been brave in his life, just sly, just slick enough to survive. He knew it wasn't fair to her or him, but he was a coward. Too much of a coward to tell her to leave. Too much of a coward to tell her to stay. Too much of a coward to just tell her. Maybe that was a cowardice they shared in common.

She would find someone better. A man who wasn't a coward. Someone not him. He had nothing real to offer her in life. All he had was the baggage of his past that complicated everything he did and the bar he leaned against. His place: The bar with his name on it in softly glowing neon light.

He looked away from her to the front door of the place opening. He leaned over from the side of the building to see a man of similar age and complexion locking his sights onto him, "Hey Bossssss whatssss you doin out here? Everyonesssss waitin on ya."

"Yeah," He looked back to her one more time. She was gone. Probably half way home. He sighed, straightened his leather jacket and put out the last of his cigarette. She'd be back , "I know."


	2. Rain

It was still raining. Large drops that rattled the shutters and made the wind chimes outside kick out a chorus that died in the low roar of the rain itself. He stared blankly at the ceiling while he listened to the surprisingly calming sound of the rain. Thumbing on the wood of the porch and small house. He blinked a handful of times as the blurry affects of sleep left his eyes. The room was still dark with the acceptation of the dim lights of his charging phone and digital wall clock.

Why had he woken up? He doubted it was the rain. Nor did he believe it was the heat. It had continued to rain on and off for weeks now, but the rain, even with the help of night, did little to calm the summer heat. It was one of the worse heat waves in almost ten years. Tonight had been cooler then the last few nights but even still he laid on the bed with blankets kicked away and a old pair of torn blue jeans cladding his body. Sitting up he felt the sheets beneath peal away from him. Everything had a damp stickiness that came from the humidity. He hated the mix of rain and heat. He hated many things.

He looked around in the darkened room. The house, if that was what you wanted to call it, wasn't very big. It was a very open place with bed room and living room being one and the same. A kitchen attached and two doors. One door of a closet, one door for the bathroom. Not much, but it was his and he enjoyed it just fine. He listened to a shutter rhythmically bang open and shut. Most of the windows where open to allow a cross breeze. Most protected from the rain by the stretch of the porch that surrounded most of the beach house styled dwelling.

But the rain hadn't woken him, the shutters hadn't woken him, nor the heat. He stood and walked to the door. Opening it, he was greeted by her from standing in front of him. Her eyes turned away from him, looking down, and arms crossed in a gesture of self comfort. She was dripping wet; every strand of dark hair, the dark green tank top, and the summer shorts where dripping. Had she walked here? He wondered.

She looked up at him, her vivid green gaze engulfing him, but also letting him know that water dripping down her face was not rain. He didn't say anything as those eyes looked at him; seeking and expecting something he couldn't quite figure.

He sighed, reaching out he put a hand on the back of her head and pulled her to him. She nestled her face against the tall mans chest and took her arms from around herself to around him. He kept the hand he had on her head in it's place while bring his other around her. He took a deep breath, still feeling the affects of sleep, and placed his chin on the top of her head where he closed his eyes and simply held her. He felt her quiver under his hold with irregular breathing. He found himself rubbing her back, not needing to know why she was crying. He didn't say any thing still and still she didn't say anything either. Did it matter?

He let her go, sliding his hand down into hers, to pull her inside behind him and shut the door with a light kick of his foot. He lead her over by her hand and sat her down on the edge of the bed. She sniffled watching him walk to the bathroom and returning with a towel. He came back and draped it over her head, beginning to rub her hair dry. He then wiped her face carefully rubbing under and around her eyes of tears. She looked tired. No, he looked tired. She looked exhausted.

Once done with her hair he left the towel around her neck and tugged at the edge of her shirt, "Off wit' dat." He glanced at the shorts, "Those too."

She nodded slipping the rain filled clothing. Patting her exposed skin dry. He left her side for a moment to walk over to his dresser and returned with a shirt and old pair of short. They where small to him, but would be big for her still.

As she dressed, he went about shutting the windows and shutters. He switched the Air conditioner to on before laying flat on the bed next to where she sat. He situated himself comfortably and patted the empty space next to him, "Come on. Tuck in."

She let the towel fall onto the floor before moving to lay next to him. Facing him. He snorted pulling her full against him. Wrapping the beds blanket around them as the AC began to chill the hot air.

Tucking her head into the curve of his neck she mumbled, "Hey, I'm-"

"Shhh, I know." He nudged her to shush her. "Tomorrow"

"Mmmm," She nuzzled him, "I know."

It didn't take long before he felt her breathing deepen with sleep. He let out a deep exhausted sigh, gently kissing the top of her four-head. Closing his eyes to allow sleep to return to him.


End file.
